I refuse to be one of those Christians that clean the outer cup and never clean the inside. I refuse to be polished and “holy” in public but living like a devil on Earth behind closed doors. I’m 28 but at 17 I knew I was just different. There were certain things that I would attempt to do that just didn’t feel right. I didn’t want to be the girl walking around like a saint but doing things contrary to God’s word behind closed doors. I wanted to live an authentic Christian life.
I had to learn that, no, you can’t talk like others. You can’t walk like others. You can’t do those things!!! When I would sin when I was younger I would be sad for a minute and be over it but as I have gotten older sin just made me nauseous. Now I KNOW I’m saved for real because I just can’t do things. No, I’m not just talking about those sins that we put more weight on like sex, smoking and drinking. Those things were never really my battle. I’m talking about ALL sin! Unbelief is a sin and I feel just as bad as someone battling with masturbation. If I lie, I’m repenting. I feel like the person praying for deliverance from porn. When my thoughts are ungodly, I really just feel grossed out by myself, just like the prostitute may feel after she turned another trick.
My prayer has always been that I am a reflection of Jesus anywhere that I am, WHEREVER I GO! I don’t just wanna put on my “church mask” at church but I want to be the same woman at church, at work, at the store, with my friends, on a date with my husband…ANYWHERE. Everyday I aim to be better than the next day and truly live this life for real. I’m proud of my walk! I’m proud of my journey. I’m proud of my mistakes and I’m proud of my growth.
Ladies, don’t just “act” like a woman of God… BE A WOMAN OF GOD! #youarecoverd