Have you ever heard the saying “You say toe-may-to, I say toe-ma-to?” Well this saying is a reflection of our daily lives. You react one way and I react another way.
We all go through similar situations but we have different responses to these situations. You say toe-may-to but I say toe-ma-to. Yes, we have the same situation but I call it something else and you call it another. You respond one way and I respond another. You scream and shout. I stay quiet and wait on God to tell me what to say. You say something slick and sarcastic, I humble myself, laugh and keep it light. You may leave it alone, I may beg to talk about it now.
You get my drift yet? No? Ok, let’s break it down.
People think I’m being dishonest when I say that my husband and I don’t argue. Four years together and two years married and I can still count on one hand the amount of “arguments “we’ve had. How you ask? Ok. Let’s dig a little deeper.
Example: My husband can NEVER find anything. Like EVER! He will call me, pregnant and all from the other side of the house to help him look for something. When I get there it will literally be RIGHT there in his face. Now I have two choices here. I can:
A. Roll my eyes, suck my teeth, complain about waddling on the other side of the house. Say something slick about how dumb he is. Belittle him for not looking hard enough. Point out the object and walk away shaking my head and mumbling.
B. Point at the object. Look at my husband slowly and laugh out loud, which then makes him laugh. He squeezes me, kisses me, thanks me and says “Baby, if it was a snake it would have bit me!” I waddle back to the other side of the house shaking my head and chuckling to myself .
Option B plays out in my home at least 3 or 4 times a week. Lol. The fact is, I know my husband’s weaknesses (and he knows mine). So instead of being disgruntled, I help him. After all, I was created to be his help meet (Genesis 2:18) Sure, it’s annoying at times. I’m not saying that it’s not but my reaction to every situation determines the altitude of our home. Why let something soooooooooooooo minute cause a big problem in our home? Why give the enemy a place to make a wedge in our marriage?
When we took marriage counseling with our Apostle, he explained to us that we should keep every entrance to our marriage SHUT because the devil will roam around and try to make an attack any way that he can.
With every situation remember that there are two different ways you can respond. Positively or negatively. Some may not agree with your positive approach all the time because you may come off “weak” or “timid” but trust me, God can fight your battles better than you ever can.
Example: I had a manager that was treating me very poorly. She was rude, mean and just nasty. There are two ways that I could handle this situation.
A. I have a hood Miami girl tucked inside of me (LOL) and I could go off on this lady multiple times. I could treat her nasty and rude just like she treated me.
B. Kill her with kindness. Move around the office with a smile on my face regardless of how she treated me and force myself to stay quiet and deal with her ways.
Now what would I gain if I chose option A? It would make me feel good to put her in her place but what would I REALLY gain. Better yet, what would I miss out on?
Of course Option B is what I chose and guess what? Right when I was ready to quit, God used this woman to get me a raise (because she couldn’t deny my hard work) and then she ended up quitting a week after I received my raise! Wow!
You say toe-may-to but I say toe-ma-toe. Don’t allow people to push you our of character or if that is your character, work on that! Try to choose the positive route. Now, you want to make sure that you listen to what the Lord says. Sometimes God will give us the O.K. to speak up but make sure you follow HIS lead and not your feelings.